12 ‘Better Book Titles’ That Are Totally Accurate

    These titles say what we’re all really thinking ...

    Dan Wilbur is a stand-up comedian, with a degree in classics and creative writing, who created the blog “Better Book Titles”—for those “who do not have thousands of hours to read book reviews.” The aggregator allows you to search for a book, and brings up an alternate title that better sums up the book in its place. Unsurprisingly, many of these are hilarious. Here, in our humble opinion, are some of the “Better Book Titles” that are totally, painfully accurate.


     

    Better Book Titles Twilight

    Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer

    “The 107 Year Old Virgin”

    Ouch. Yes, Dan condensed Edward Cullen’s entire life story of being trapped in a 17-year-old body for eternity really well.

    Buy it on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Or download it on iTunes.

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    Better Book Titles Little Life

    A Little Life, by Hanya Yanagihara

    “The Feel Bad Novel of the Year”

    100 percent spot on. There are those of us who may never recover from reading this horribly sad novel about the damage sexual abuse can wreck one’s life.

    Download on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes.

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    Better Book Titles Bell Jar

    The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath

    “Internships Suck”

    Sylvia Plath’s internship at Mademoiselle was the inspiration for many of the events that transpire in The Bell Jar, including an inane photo-shoot and a night of debauchery in Manhattan. Typical unpaid internship stuff.

    Download on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes.

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    Better Book Titles Corrections

    The Corrections, by Jonathan Franzen

    “Most People Hate Their Families”

    This novel’s overarching feeling of resentment and family dysfunction has made it one of the most hateful (and for some, relatable) books published in the last 20 years.

    Download on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes.

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    Better Book Titles Mrs Dalloway

    Mrs. Dalloway, by Virginia Woolf

    “A Quaint Mid-Afternoon Panic Attack”

    Virginia Woolf’s heroine Mrs. Dalloway’s mid-afternoon errands lead her to reevaluate her entire life’s choices, hence the “mid-afternoon panic attack” of this helpful title.

    Download on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes.

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    Better Book Titles Scarlet Letter

    The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne

    “I Know What You Did Last Summer”

    The Puritan townspeople of Hester Prynne’s village know what she was up to last summer when her daughter Pearl arrives, despite her husband being away at sea.

    Download on AmazonBarnes & Noble, and iTunes.

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    Better Book Titles Jane Eyre

    Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Brontë

    “The Good Ones Are Always Taken (By Crazy Chicks)”

    We all knew there was something Mr. Rochester was hiding. We just didn’t know it was his first wife…in the attic.

    Download on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes.

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    Better Book Titles Game of Thrones

    Game of Thrones, by George R.R. Martin

    “Don’t Get Too Attached”

    For those still recuperating from the Red Wedding, or you know, any beloved character’s death on Game of Thrones, this title is just too real.

    Download on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes.

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    Better Book Titles Lord of Flies

    Lord of the Flies, by William Golding

    “Boys Will Be Murderers”

    What happens when schoolboys get stranded on an island? This book made you a bit hesitant about going on your next class field trip.

    Download on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes.

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    Better Book Titles Room

    Room, by Emma Donoghue

    “A Room With No View”

    Too soon?

    Download on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes.

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    Better Book Titles Masque of Red Death

    The Masque of Red Death and Other Stories, by Edgar Allan Poe

    “Nothing Good Happens After Midnight”

    In Poe’s world, it’s better just to stay in, under the covers, with the doors locked and bolted for the evening.

    Download on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes.

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    Better Book Titles Anna Karenina

    Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy

    “Trainwreck”

    Tolstoy would have appreciated this brief but accurate title, which works in both the figurative and literal sense.

    Download on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes.

     

     

     

     

     

    All images courtesy of Better Book Titles.

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