Dan Wilbur is a stand-up comedian, with a degree in classics and creative writing, who created the blog “Better Book Titles”—for those “who do not have thousands of hours to read book reviews.” The aggregator allows you to search for a book, and brings up an alternate title that better sums up the book in its place. Unsurprisingly, many of these are hilarious. Here, in our humble opinion, are some of the “Better Book Titles” that are totally, painfully accurate.
Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer
Ouch. Yes, Dan condensed Edward Cullen’s entire life story of being trapped in a 17-year-old body for eternity really well.
A Little Life, by Hanya Yanagihara
100 percent spot on. There are those of us who may never recover from reading this horribly sad novel about the damage sexual abuse can wreck one’s life.
The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath
Sylvia Plath’s internship at Mademoiselle was the inspiration for many of the events that transpire in The Bell Jar, including an inane photo-shoot and a night of debauchery in Manhattan. Typical unpaid internship stuff.
The Corrections, by Jonathan Franzen
This novel’s overarching feeling of resentment and family dysfunction has made it one of the most hateful (and for some, relatable) books published in the last 20 years.
Mrs. Dalloway, by Virginia Woolf
Virginia Woolf’s heroine Mrs. Dalloway’s mid-afternoon errands lead her to reevaluate her entire life’s choices, hence the “mid-afternoon panic attack” of this helpful title.
The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Puritan townspeople of Hester Prynne’s village know what she was up to last summer when her daughter Pearl arrives, despite her husband being away at sea.
Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Brontë
We all knew there was something Mr. Rochester was hiding. We just didn’t know it was his first wife…in the attic.
Game of Thrones, by George R.R. Martin
For those still recuperating from the Red Wedding, or you know, any beloved character’s death on Game of Thrones, this title is just too real.
Lord of the Flies, by William Golding
What happens when schoolboys get stranded on an island? This book made you a bit hesitant about going on your next class field trip.
Room, by Emma Donoghue
The Masque of Red Death and Other Stories, by Edgar Allan Poe
In Poe’s world, it’s better just to stay in, under the covers, with the doors locked and bolted for the evening.
Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy
Tolstoy would have appreciated this brief but accurate title, which works in both the figurative and literal sense.
All images courtesy of Better Book Titles.