Toddlers Are A**holes

At last, the book that answers the question on every parent’s mind: Why does my toddler hate me?

Okay, it’s not really hate. It’s just that a little psychopath who walks through life 100% convinced that he or she is the center of the universe does not care that you have a heart, a mind, or a soul. You are simply a skin-covered robot tall enough to reach the candy on top of the fridge. And clean up the rage-vomit when you make the fatal mistake of cutting off the crust on your toddler’s toast. (Or not cutting it off—seriously, you can’t win.)

Includes:

• The theory of toddler evolution
• Mealtime (AKA Hell)
• Your unraveling life
• And how not to die inside

Read this book whenever you feel the urge to drop off your three-year-old at the nearest 7-Eleven with a sippy cup and a duffel bag full of clothes.