Library Jokes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

"Check out" these funny jokes and one-liners.

girl in library
  • Photo Credit: Danny / Unsplash

As lifelong readers, we can't help but appreciate a good pun or an especially hilarious bit of wordplay. With that in mind, we've compiled a list of laugh-out-loud funny library jokes. Just be sure not to read these while you're actually in a library, or you might get shushed!

Related: Laugh-Out-Loud Funny Books for Adults 

Classic Library Jokes

Why are libraries the tallest buildings in the world?

Because they have so many stories!

Why did the cardiologist recommend that his patients go to the library?

He heard they’re good for circulation.

Why did Dracula go to the library?

He wanted to sink his teeth into a good book.

Why can’t you go to the world’s biggest library?

It’s always overbooked.

How do librarians flirt?

They ask for your call number.

Why did the librarian fall down?

He was in the non-friction section.

What book did the librarian take out for her cat?

The Prince and the Paw-purr.

Related: 10 of the Best Cat Books for Cat Lovers

Why did the librarian get fired?

He was always checked out.

How do libraries make sure novels stay warm?

They give them book jackets.

Why can’t librarians finish mystery books?

They keep reading between the lines.

What advice do you get from a librarian?

Believe in your shelf.

Why did the ghost keep coming back to the library?

He went through his books too quickly.

What did the librarian tell the person who checked out 100 books?

Don’t overdue it.

Where does the library keep books about Big Foot?

The large-print section.

Where does the library keep books about conspiracies?

Right behind you.

Library Puns and One-Liners

The library banned drinks after someone poured milk on the serials.

Librarians love a good joke—they always get the reference.

Dystopian books are so 1984.

Dewey look good together?

Are you a library book? Because I am checking you out.

That book about anti-gravity is impossible to put down.

A book fell on the librarian’s head—she only had her shelf to blame.

I can’t go out tonight—I’m booked.

That book about Stockholm Syndrome is hard to get into, but by the end it’s great.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on cliffhangers. The librarian says:

Featured photo: Danny / Unsplash 

Published on 8 Jun 2020