11 Books About Finding Yourself

After the painful death of her father, a woman embarks on a cross-country road trip to find the mother she never knew. Charlie's mom left shortly after her birth, and stumbling on a hidden stash of letters while she's grieving makes her reconsider reaching out. But before she can leave Brooklyn for California, she finds herself with an unexpected and mysterious passenger who will change everything.

Choose Your Own Disaster is a refreshingly honest, darkly funny memoir that captures the chaos, confusion, and occasional clarity of navigating your twenties. Styled like a choose-your-own-adventure story mixed with a personality quiz, Schwartz guides readers through the major and minor decisions that shaped her young adult life, from toxic relationships, to career mishaps, to struggling to find herself.

With wit, vulnerability, and self-awareness, she shares the reality of trying (and failing) to find your footing in a world of endless possibilities, and the pressure to have everything figured out. This isn’t a tale of perfect choices or easy answers, but rather a relatable journey of trial and error, painful lessons, and unexpected growth. Choose Your Own Disaster is perfect for anyone who’s ever felt lost or overwhelmed by adulthood, and who finds comfort in laughing through the uncertainty. 

When Rhoda Janzen’s world falls apart—her husband leaves her for a man, and she’s badly injured in a car crash—she returns to the Mennonite community she once fled. What follows is a memoir that’s both hilarious and heartfelt, blending sharp academic wit with down-to-earth storytelling. 

Rhoda’s family is full of deeply devoted, quirky people whose love (and occasional bafflement) help her in her healing. Mennonite in a Little Black Dress is a thoughtful look at how our past shapes us, even when we try to leave it behind.

Margaret Roach’s memoir tracks her journey away from her corporate hustle toward a life rooted in nature and simplicity. After years as an editorial director at Martha Stewart Living, she boldly leaves city life behind for a home upstate. This isn’t a romanticized escape story—it’s an honest, often funny look at the struggle to slow down, rediscover oneself, and to find peace in uncertain times.

After getting laid off from her job, Noelle Hancock finds herself stuck in a quarter-life crisis. Then she stumbles across a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: “Do one thing every day that scares you.” 

Inspired, she embarks on a year-long challenge to face fears big and small, from skydiving to stand-up comedy to cage diving with sharks. Hancock dives into the awkward, scary, and sometimes overwhelming parts of unlearning fear and figuring out who you are.

After a personal and career setback, Isabelle Lee moves to China to live with her sister. She lands a job at an expat magazine and quickly immerses herself in Chinese culture through food.

This novel is bursting with vivid scenes of bustling markets, delicate dumplings, and warm, chaotic meals shared with new friends. But underneath the delicious details is a deeper exploration of identity—the tricky space between feeling like an insider and an outsider in the country of her ancestors.

Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime is a powerful memoir about growing up in apartheid and post-apartheid South Africa. Born to a Black mother and white father at a time when their relationship was illegal, Trevor’s very existence was against the law.

Through a series of vivid, sharply written essays, he shares intimate stories of his childhood and offers a smart look at South Africa’s complex history. Noah never shies from discussing how his fierce and loving mother, Patricia, raised him with the faith, humor, and resilience that shaped him.

Tolentino delivers a sharp, insightful collection of essays that discuss how modern life messes with our sense of self. With wit and clarity, she explores how phenomena like capitalism, internet culture, and feminism shape who we think we are, and can trap us in illusions.

Each essay digs into different parts of today’s identity crisis: from the fake performances we put on online, to the commercialization of feminist ideals, to the strange world of scams and viral trends. While it’s not a traditional memoir, Tolentino’s mix of cultural critique and personal insight makes Trick Mirror a thought-provoking read that stays with you long after you finish.

Jeanette McCurdy’s bestselling memoir digs into the difficult nature of grief. Best known for her roles on iCarly and Sam & Cat, McCurdy recounts the struggles that she faced over the course of her career as a child star. She grapples with the realities of her childhood and young adult life, including poverty, eating disorders, and a difficult relationship with her abusive mother. She describes the hardships of her past and explores the ways in which she’s working on recovering and reclaiming her future.

Scaachi Koul’s debut essay collection is a sharp, funny, and brutally honest look at what it’s like growing up as a millennial woman of color in Canada. Her essays mix biting social commentary with deeply personal stories about identity, race, family, and the challenges of modern life.

Scaachi’s voice is bold, sarcastic, and vulnerable all at once, tackling everything from online harassment to awkward waxing sessions to the immigrant experience. 

Jessi Klein’s You’ll Grow Out of It is a hilarious and sharp collection of essays about what it means to be a woman navigating growing, aging, ambition, and the often contradictory expectations of femininity. With neurotic charm and confidence, Jessi breaks down the roles women are expected to play—from “cool girl” to “mom”—and how they often don’t fit.

She covers everything from fertility struggles and fashion fails to romantic disasters with a perfect mix of cringe and candor.