Joan Didion's Play It As It Lays: The Dark Heart of the American Dream

An excerpt from the literary icon's novel about loneliness and life's unanswerable questions.

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The name Joan Didion is synonymous with a lot of things: the West Coast, a barely-there smile, a distanced but prescient prose. In fact, it’s impossible to read a line from, say, Slouching Towards Bethlehem without knowing exactly who you’re reading—and yet Didion herself has always remained something of an enigma. 

Though mostly known for her nonfiction, she’s the author of several screenplays and novels. Her fiction debut came in 1963 with Run, River, a book that was edited by her then-future husband, John Gregory Dunne (whose death would become the subject of her bestselling memoir, The Year of Magical Thinking). 

But Didion’s most famous turn in the world of fiction was the 1970 novel Play It As It Lays. Hailed as everything from terrifying and scathing to “a thing so bright sometimes it hurts” (Time), the book was adapted into a feature film two years later—and like its author, feels both raw and unnervingly aloof.

Related: On Joan Didion: Her Books, Life, and Legacy

Play It As It Lays follows Maria Wyeth, a 30-something mother who has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital. How she got there is a story that unwinds quickly and erratically—not at all unlike Maria’s state of mind (or perhaps even of Didion’s, who is notoriously neurotic)—through multiple perspectives and short chapters. The book doesn't flinch from things like divorce, casual sex, or abortion, as Maria chases oblivion to escape toxic relationships, depression, and maternal grief. And in true Didion fashion, Play It As It Lays' writing is sparse but loaded, evoking 1960s California in a way only Didion can.

At its heart, Play It As It Lays is about loneliness and emotional emptiness—the realization that things happen, and there are no answers. Still, Maria persists, rolling with the punches. She, like all of us in our darkest moments, must make do with the hand she's dealt. She must hold her head high and keep playing the game.

Read on for an excerpt from the first chapter.